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Why Am I?

by Bill Mortham


Because God is, l am. That statement tells it all, yet in our daily experiences as His expressions, we find an unfoldment of happenings we don't always understand. Although it isn't necessary to understand every aspect of living, a greater understanding does help to confirm what we already know.. Many of us have answered the question, "Who am I?" Our awareness of God's Spirit in us and as us brought about this recognition. We now know Christ as our sum and substance, the all and in all. In Him we live and move and have our very being.


Settled into this awareness of our unity with Christ, we now have to face the spontaneous mechanics of the outworking of this Christ who is inwardly enthroned. In this outworking there is always the danger of becoming performance oriented. Even the phrase "let go and let God" denotes something of self-effort, and we need to be aware of this.


Faith has swallowed up any and all impaired vision. Now we look through appearances to the reality of the Universal. We even look through the father of sin and sins to see God at work. God only is now our honored Indweller, and only God prevails. We see Him in ourselves as well as in all others.


Yes, many of us know the answer to the question "Who am I?" We know we are to glorify God in whatever we do whenever we do it, but how does all this work out? How do we show His strength in our weakness? When are we knowingly anchored? When does having a friend become evident in being one? When in loving are we loved? When will we respond as joy unspeakable? When do our words spontaneously become our "living epistles" read of all men everywhere?


These and other questions like them have their answers in Christ. That we no longer doubt or question. But being that daily gospel of Jesus Christ is not always as spontaneous as we would like. In this interim, how do we stay balanced? Perhaps a weekly reading of the four Gospels is in order. These give an unwavering testimony of Christ's earthly pilgrimage. Jesus was tempted in every way that a man may be tempted, yet He used temptation to manifest strength through weakness. He too was misunderstood, was knowingly hurt, was taken advantage of repeatedly, had no pillow upon which to rest His head, was often abandoned, was used and misused. He kept pouring out love when normally the well would have run dry. He knew His pur­pose. His goal - the cross - was ever set before Him. But it was the awareness of "Who am I" which was basic to the out­working of His "Why am L" He was always about His Father's business; His heart's desire was always to please the Father. That was the answer to "Why?", but the working out of the answer was in the "Who?" Christ knew who He was. He knew that He and God were One, so in pleasing the Father, He too was pleased.


With this perspective, the "Why?" of God as us is always pleasurable. When not pleasurable, a moment of reflection upon our "replacement" (Christ) will bring things back into focus. Patience is ours through tribulation, and we need to joyfully accept the chastening God gives to those He loves. Just as matter itself is ultimately spirit, so are the mechanics by which God brings to pass His perfect will in and as all things. Swallowed up negatives are digestible, and so is the process of the "swallowing up," once we see with a single eye and give God all of the glory. Be still and know God in all the processes of life.


In daily application (which itself is only an "appearance," since what is implanted is already applied) we experience the ever-present strain of "waiting." "Waiting on the Lord" is His ultimate commission. Being timeless and with only eternal values in view, God's unfoldment is often past finding out. We can only observe and praise God for what He reveals. "His ways are not our ways" simply means that His ways are beyond us. As a stolen possession, with the "he" of Satan functioning as the substitute "He" of God, man had for a long time been con­ditioned to function as an entity unto himself. Satan's deceitful promise was that man could captain his own ship by proclaiming his independence. Staying in the background, Satan gave man the false impression that he truly was a valid being apart from the "He".


As the He is revealed as the He in us who is greater than the "he" who is in the world, we are informed and transformed by the renewing of the mind to know that our high calling is as it always was - one of simple, childlike containment. As Christ was spontaneously inworked as our "replacement" (though really He was always there), so He is to be "outworked" in our lives, for Christ is both cause and effect. The expression of Christ through our lives is as much God as the substance of Christ is. Do not look at the negative. In God there is no darkness at all. Let "Why am I?" be as settled and as spontaneously enjoyed as the "Who am I?", for the two questions are both answered by the One who is sum and substance of all.


Ours is not to claim by faith and live by works. Faith alone works. The "outworked" and the "inworked" are One. Stepping stones are as much God as cornerstones are. "Levels of aware­ness" are swallowed up in the finished product, just like birth pangs are forgotten when the babe is born. In Christ we are now complete, for we were created perfect in Him.


Once the "Why?" is recognized as the "Who?", His yoke is easy, as promised, and His burden light. "Not I, but Christ" is now in full focus. Not all results are heavenly, but all results are heaven. Christ is our vision, and faith brings us there. But wanting to be there is being there, for Christ is the desire of our hearts.


In God there is no turning back, since "back" is now! Here the foundation and superstructure are one, though each fulfills a different purpose. Just as the branch and vine are one tree, so the Who and all the Why's are the Son and sons - the Form and forms of God reaching out, even as we've already reached within.


Separation remains the devil's lie. How often separation is needlessly embraced, even in a futile attempt to separate the doer from what is done. If we begin with what is done, then let us see all doing as His good work of faith which has the desire only to glorify Himself. This is the full measure of all true success. This is life's only goal, for God shares His glory with no man. God is. Therefore, we are.