Why Am I?
by Bill Mortham
God is, l am.
That statement tells it all, yet in our daily experiences
as His expressions, we find an unfoldment of happenings we don't
always understand. Although it isn't necessary to understand every
aspect of living, a greater understanding does help to confirm what we
already know.. Many of us have answered the question, "Who am I?" Our
awareness of God's Spirit in us and as us brought about this
recognition. We now know Christ as our sum and substance, the all and
in all. In Him we live and move and have our very being.
Settled into this awareness of our unity with Christ,
we now have to face the spontaneous mechanics of the outworking of
this Christ who is inwardly enthroned. In this outworking there is
always the danger of becoming performance oriented. Even the phrase
"let go and let God" denotes something of self-effort, and we need to
be aware of this.
Faith has swallowed up any and all impaired
vision. Now we look through appearances to the reality of the
Universal. We even look through the father of sin and sins to see God
at work. God only is now our honored Indweller, and only God prevails.
We see Him in ourselves as well as in all others.
Yes, many of us know the answer to the question "Who am
I?" We know we are to glorify God in whatever we do whenever we do it,
but how does all this work out? How do we show His strength in our
weakness? When are we knowingly anchored? When does having a friend
become evident in being one? When in loving are we loved? When will we
respond as joy unspeakable? When do our words spontaneously become our
"living epistles" read of all men everywhere?
These and other questions like them have
their answers in Christ. That we no longer doubt or question. But
being that daily gospel of Jesus Christ is not always as spontaneous
as we would like. In this interim, how do we stay balanced? Perhaps a
weekly reading of the four Gospels is in order. These give an
unwavering testimony of Christ's earthly pilgrimage. Jesus was tempted
in every way that a man may be tempted, yet He used temptation to
manifest strength through weakness. He too was misunderstood, was
knowingly hurt, was taken advantage of repeatedly, had no pillow upon
which to rest His head, was often abandoned, was used and misused. He
kept pouring out love when normally the well would have run dry. He
knew His purpose. His goal - the cross - was ever set before Him. But
it was the awareness of "Who am I" which was basic to the outworking
of His "Why am L" He was always about His Father's business; His
heart's desire was always to please the Father. That was the answer to
"Why?", but the working out of the answer was in the "Who?" Christ
knew who He was. He knew that He and God were One, so in pleasing the
Father, He too was pleased.
With this perspective, the "Why?" of God as
us is always pleasurable. When not pleasurable, a moment of reflection
upon our "replacement" (Christ) will bring things back into focus.
Patience is ours through tribulation, and we need to joyfully accept
the chastening God gives to those He loves. Just as matter itself is
ultimately spirit, so are the mechanics by which God brings to pass
His perfect will in and as
Swallowed up negatives are digestible, and so is the
of the "swallowing up," once we see with a single eye
and give God all of the glory. Be still and know God in all the
processes of life.
In daily application (which itself is only
an "appearance," since what is implanted is already applied) we
experience the ever-present strain of "waiting." "Waiting on the Lord"
is His ultimate commission. Being timeless and with only eternal
values in view, God's unfoldment is often past finding out. We can
only observe and praise God for what He reveals. "His ways are not our
ways" simply means that His ways are beyond us. As a stolen
possession, with the "he" of Satan functioning as the substitute "He"
of God, man had for a long time been conditioned to function as an
entity unto himself. Satan's deceitful promise was that man could
captain his own ship by proclaiming his independence. Staying in the
background, Satan gave man the false impression that he truly was a
valid being apart from the "He".
As the He is revealed as the He in us who is
greater than the "he" who is in the world, we are informed and
transformed by the renewing of the mind to know that our high calling
is as it always was - one of simple, childlike containment. As Christ
was spontaneously inworked as our "replacement" (though really He was
always there), so He is to be "outworked" in our lives, for Christ is
both cause and effect. The expression of Christ through our lives is
as much God as the substance of Christ is. Do not look at the
negative. In God there is no darkness at all. Let "Why am I?" be as
settled and as spontaneously enjoyed as the "Who am I?", for the two
questions are both answered by the One who is sum and substance of
Ours is not to claim by faith and live by
works. Faith alone works. The "outworked" and the "inworked" are One.
Stepping stones are as much God as cornerstones are. "Levels of
awareness" are swallowed up in the finished product, just like birth
pangs are forgotten when the babe is born. In Christ we are now
complete, for we were created perfect in Him.
Once the "Why?" is recognized as the "Who?",
His yoke is easy, as promised, and His burden light. "Not I, but
Christ" is now in full focus. Not all results are heavenly, but all
results are heaven. Christ is our vision, and faith brings us there.
But wanting to be there is being there, for Christ is the desire of
In God there is no turning back, since
"back" is now! Here the foundation and superstructure are one, though
each fulfills a different purpose. Just as the branch and vine are one
tree, so the Who and all the Why's are the Son and sons - the Form and
forms of God reaching out, even as we've already reached within.
Separation remains the devil's lie. How often
separation is needlessly embraced, even in a futile attempt to
separate the doer from what is done. If we begin with what
then let us see all doing
as His good work of faith which
has the desire only to glorify Himself. This is the full measure of
all true success. This is life's only goal, for God shares His glory
with no man. God is. Therefore, we are.