At the age of 14 I joined the local Baptist Church. My parent's had no particular belief in God, and it was because we moved house at the end of World War 2, (when I was a lonely teenager in a strange neighbourhood) that I was invited to the Baptist" Young People's Fellowship" and also attended Sunday service. When an appeal was given to accept the Lord and be baptised I came forward, and when questioned why I said "because I believed God wanted me to do so".
Shortly after this I was unable to continue going to Church because of illness and during that time only remember confusion of mind, depression and doubt. Certainly not peace and flood's of joy!!
And so it continued, although by the age of 27 I had married and moved to my husband's home town of Southampton, and transferred to his Baptist Church, and then a few year's later we both began attending the Pentecostal Church, but me always fearful and trying to please God and keep His laws .
This to the point of a nervous breakdown, until in 1978 the Lord led me to meet Amy Dagnell, and slowly my inner and outer life began to change.
Over the months and years Amy faithfully talked with me about the true meaning of the Gospel and who I am in Christ .
Gradually the grip of the law lessened it's hold, and I often tasted a new freedom in the Lord, (still with many a conflict and many a doubt, but gradual progress , and Amy refusing to give up on me.)
More recently the reading of Dan Stone's book" The Rest of the Gospel when the partial Gospel has worn you out", has emphasised the truths I had been hearing .
The big step for me, is to ignore my negative thought and feelings, which attacked daily, and to affirm with the Scripture "I am Dead and my life is hid with Christ in God" Col 3:3.
Beforehand the feelings were exhausting and never ending, because I then believed the thought and feelings were the real me! Now I affirm that however strong that illusion, it is a lie "God's word is truth." Also the Lord has emphasised to me again and again that Christ is Now and wonderfully gave me a scripture to confirm it" Now is the accepted time Now is the day of Salvation".
Pam Ward Southampton England