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A Struggle of Faith
by DeeDee Winter

Hello, my name is ____ and I have just been looking at you web site about Norman Grubb. I don’t know that I have heard of him before, but anyway I wish I had.

I don’t fully understand about all he says, but I tend to sense that he is sound.

I have been struggling with letting Christ live through me, so I was wondering if you can shed some light on the matter, as I don’t think I actually know anyone who says that Christ is the (Your) life, but more of Christ will help you be a Christian through the Holy Spirit, and more, He helps you, but that hasn’t been working for me and, most I have had the desire and the will to at times, but never the enablement to do it. Is there actual help? I have been pondering this for a long time and have come to the opinion that, if there is a way, I want to be the kind of person who shows others the secret of this life, if it is like I think it may be.

I know that this may sound odd, but I must know because I want it, if it is as it starting to seem to me.

I was worried about coments that we are living as Christ. I can’t quite get my head around it.

What worries me is that this seems to be against what most Christians believe to be possible and if true, I am and feel totally alone in my thoughts as to how it will work out practically in everyday life… eg. at the breakfast table, in my company, just everyday life. I don’t think I have anyone to ask.

Hello ___,

I am very glad you have written. Yes!!! what you have seen is true. It is the very essence of the gospel…the pearl of great price because it will cost you all you have (your life... your consciousness that you have anything in you separate or independent from His life joined to you).

The struggle you speak of is just one of faith…saying by faith and against what you feel or appear to be, that it is really Christ living by/through/as you. It is Gal. 2:20. Say it by faith about yourself “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me and the life I live, I live by the faith of the Son of God who gave Himself for me”. God will come underneath your faith statement and make it real to you in His way, in His words just for you and in His time.

The final prayer of Jesus before He went to the cross was in John 17. It is His plea to the Father about what He will accomplish on the Cross…”that they may be one as We are one”. How separate is that? We walk in the same relationship of oneness that Jesus experienced with His Father God…”I do nothing but what I see the Father do”. Now that takes a revelation from Him as to the truth about us and our daring to believe it is true…as you say “at the breakfast table, in my office, just everyday life”…many times despite our feelings or appearance.

___, where do you live? Perhaps I know someone in your area with whom you can fellowship. There is also what I call our Spiritual Family Reunion the second weekend in Sept. each year (Sept.9-11) in Louisville, Ky. at the home of John and Linda Bunting. We have folks come from all over the world to share the all-encompassing truth of Gal.2:20.

Be sure and visit our sister site hosted by Linda. On it you will find many excerpts from Norman’s writings and those of others, by testimony and just sharings, who have discovered Paul’s “mystery of the gospel, Christ in you, the hope of glory”!

Please feel free to write again. You are in for the thrill of your life!!!

Love in Him,



Dear DeeDee

I am so pleased to here from you already. Thought it would be weeks, if not longer.

DeeDee, I live in the UK so you may not know anyone, but if you do, that would be wonderful.

You can be sure that I will be writing more to you about this, as at the present I feel like I am trapped inside a bubble waiting to burst out of it to the outside world, but I know it’s only that I don’t understand it or have a proper revelation, but I know I will.

DeeDee this seems a little scary doesn’t it? That there’s nothing to do but trust that perfect union has happened, and as I think of that, my imagination leads me to think then that Christ’s power and glory is just waiting there to surge through me to the world in mighty torrents.

This can’t be so, can it?

DeeDee, if I was to look within it scares me in the fact that God is there waiting to be released almost like an explosion, dynamite or even nuclear. Is this wrong that my thoughts go this way? I am imagining that He’s waiting there with people’s miracles extra and I have maybe been in the way (obstacle). It’s almost to my mind that I hear, “Let go”, but I am afraid to because I sense what’s within is too awesome to try and contain.

DeeDee, I am not mad, honest, (I hope anyway) just desiring answers and I think a little mixed up on this, but I know I’ll get there.

Thank you for taking time out to reply

Yes, ____, it can ALL be so and is! We do not even have to “let” God…He already IS all in us from the moment we receive Him by faith in our new birth. We spend a ‘childhood’ learning how to walk and talk, and then a period as a ‘young man’ where we live from our false, independent self-effort and strength.

But by the grace of God we find ourselves in Romans 7 crying with Paul…”Who will deliver me…” and then, again, by the grace of God we find that Pearl I spoke about earlier…we find NO CONDEMNATION because He has paid the full price and is our life!

The greatest miracle of all,___, is to come to complete healing in knowing our PERFECTION…Spirit, soul and body…as our consciousness is raised to the TRUTH (Christ) about our self (our humanity and personhood). ALL has been made right by His Cross!!!

Loving you in Him,



Dear Deedee

I didn’t quite understand your last paragraph, however, I am so excited about emailing you and that I can ask some one questions (poor lady), but it’s, I believe, where I am being directed to this exchanged life. Amazingly I feel like I am on a first date.

Deedee, thank you again for your kindness towards me.


Dear ___,

You are just a delight…ask as many questions as you wish!

As to my last paragraph that you do not understand…you referred to miracles in your second letter. I took it as in the physical realm, as that is where most folks begin. I just wanted you to know that there is MUCH GREATER HEALING that comes in our knowing that ALL about us has been made right and is PERFECT in Christ…our spirit joined to His Spirit (mind and will), our souls (emotions, reason, human understanding) and body (our physical being that has all sorts of infirmities). Our real and lasting healing…not one that eventually fails us as all of our bodies will…is knowing that everything about my humanity has been made perfect and expresses a perfect Christ!



Last email, so don’t worry. I am not stalking you via email. I just have to know, but if you’re cross with me for emailing so much, just say.

I was thinking maybe that, because this seems like its all going to be true, DeeDee, that He wanted to so flow through me maybe to others and perhaps miracles would happen because it’s His life in me. That’s what I was thinking, DeeDee. Was that an error on my part? I just sense sort of a raging storm not an horrible one but like I have stopped him from moving through me or as me? I am like a coke bottle that’s been shaken hard by some truth that I can’t quite grasp.

Dee, so many questions sorry. I find it hard to believe that I would express Christ perfectly, though that is my desire.

DeeDee, if I am in perfect union with Christ then won’t God release His life in me through me!!

Have I just answered my own question?

DeeDee, I feel like I am going through patchy fog I get a glimpse and it goes GRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

DeeDee, thank you again for being patient and answering me you have a great day.

I think I sound Nuts!!!! Or just a dummy. This must be simpler than I am making it. Ahhhhh I think I am simplicating or complifying it.

Regards ____


Heavens, ____…we pray for folks like you that God has SO quickened Himself to! I am thrilled to answer as many questions as you have and hear your excitement and new “seeings”. And you are ABSOLUTELY correct…great miracles will come when you share and release others from the shackles of separation that bind them. My only point was that what you will give them will be so much more than a mere physical healing, although those may come also.

Nuts with you!



I have reread yours, ____, and laughed out loud at your most clever way of ending with mixing up simplifying and complicating…just brilliant and exactly what we all do with life and scripture until God sorts us out.

And, yes, you did answer your own question!


DeeDee, I have bit of a concern. I may have had a wrong thought about myself. I have been reading a book by Stewart Dinnen from WEC. I was thinking about something unrelated to the book when Bam!!! I had this thought… that my true life is Christ, not as a theory but in actuality. The centre of my being is Christ. I have been going around the house saying out loud, “My true life is Christ” and thinking any other thought is a complete lie. But then I thought hold on better check.

This seems inside to be awesome. Am I wrong or should I have a party!!!!!!!!!


It is PARTY TIME! “Flesh and blood did not tell you this, but My Father who is in heaven”…In you …the kingdom of heaven within YOU!


Yahoo partying!!!!!!!! Everything is there isn’t it…nothing missing. I don’t have to do anything; get anything. It’s all well within me…complete, complete, complete. No wonder Paul said,” I can do all things through Christ” because it was Christ. DeeDee, my True life is Christ, nothing of a mixture, no alloy, just Christ…His resurrection Life living as me, through me. DeeDee, Gee, raising of the dead; life seated with him; no separation; perfect communion; perfectly fitted in his plan, purpose. That means no devil can bother me anymore because he is out and Christ is in, as life. His authority rules. What will He do? I see that he longs to move freely, unhindered in me, without any thoughts of “I cants or won’t”; doing the works. Invincible life within…as… nothing by any means shall hurt you, because “I” am gone, but He is there as me. Ok now I am mad ? I just got a new Bible. Even though it’s the same one, its new. How come that I understand more of it now today? Ahhhhh, must be because He showed me, you think?

DeeDee, I have scripture popping in my head like a firework display. This is weird.


My, My DeeDee

My True Life is Christ isn’t it? Then I will be Christ to the world, loving them, serving them, not even noticing the cost to myself because it’s the true self in me paying the cost. Will I sort of watch like being a spectator of my own action, but not my own action? ok I am weird.

This is all now!!!!! Not future, already taken place.