Expressions of the Divine Conflict
God's Presence is always within us and surrounding us. we take that by faith..... and i'm pressed to say that even when we don't seem to have the faith to believe it, it remains true nonetheless. sometimes we are acutely aware of this and other times we don't even think about it ..... but the fact of it never changes, praise God.
i was acutely aware of His Presence this early a.m. He was quietly speaking to me about things that have been heavy on my heart lately, e.g., a fractured relationship between a couple i love with all my heart which i long to see mended, the sale of our home and subsequent living arrangement, and concern for Shanna's upcoming c-section and the safety of both her and our new granddaughter.
i plucked a small book of poems from our bookshelf to read while i munched on peanut butter crackers and drank a glass of milk. as i read it occurred to me that God was causing me to stand back and see these matters from a different plane. most of the time we are so caught up in a flurry of activity as we go about living our daily life that we lose sight of a bigger picture. nothing wrong with that....... we live in a time-ordered world and must function accordingly to accomplish tasks required of us. in the midst of this, though, sometimes God calls us apart to see as He sees.
through one of the poems, i was reminded that our entire universe functions on this marvelous tension between opposites, i.e., positives and negatives and that God exists in all of this tension, in us. i was immediately aware that God meant for that fractured relationship i was concerned about, to be, as there is a great work going on within it and i was not to touch it in any way, shape or form. my part was to believe, by faith, that God was bringing something very special out of the deaths that i saw occurring there in the couple i love so deeply. nagging concerns about my ability to present an immaculate house during open house this weekend vanished as i let go and trusted that God was in control and if He wanted the house to sell, it would. i believe it hasn't sold thus far because He knew we needed time to deal with the emotions both Jim and i have about leaving our home. also, He is preparing the perfect buyers. concern re: Shanna and the baby is replaced by hope in God that He is protecting both of them and that He has a new life to live in this little "woman" he's formed in Shanna's womb.
below are 3 poems through which God spoke to me this a.m. all are by Author, Susan Wood (btw. thanks Luli for sending Jim that book several years ago.)
"So we may look open-eyed at ourselves and the world and suffer the pain and joy of the divine conflict which is the human condition, the meaning of incarnation." This beautiful thought comes from Helen Luke. It expresses our conflict within which is also the presence of the God within. That thought - God within - always seems to me to be the core of Christ's message to the world in both His life and death. Up till
then God had been remote, outside human life, to be feared, honored, praised but not 'incarnate', in us, everything we are.
Now here is God, not just the good in us, but the whole mixed-up scene that is us. The mixed motives, the confused emotions, all that we are. We are expressions of the divine conflict, the opposites, the paradoxes of the world, the negative and positive which are the basis of all things. We share God's joy and pain, we live God on earth in our small way. As we realize that it is our destiny to share this conflict in the front line, so to speak, so we can also draw on the strength of God to fulfill our task, so that we can accept our destiny as having real meaning, and understand that we are a whole, we are what we are meant to be, expression of the whole of God."
I have come to love
Your antics, and your energy
Your innate knowingness,
And your senseless courage.
But just keep under your hat
All that pushy stuff
That destroys another's ideas.
Lay down your life
That you may take it again.
I am contained in a strange grief,
Old limbs losing power,
The faithful heart distracted.
Summon up old courage,
To be detached.
For this disintegration
Is to take me beyond life,
To be free to explore