More Christmas Days…the Cracks
I didn’t get it. I thought I did but I didn’t. I mean when Thomas said; “You have cracks in your eyes.” At first I thought he was looking at the veins in my eyes. They would certainly resemble cracks to a four year old. Then I thought it might be the wrinkles or that my eyes were swollen. In any case, I made a vain remark about allergy eyes and Thomas had no idea what I was talking about thank God. You see Thomas wasn’t looking at my eyes…he was seeing into them. Thomas was making his way into my heart. He was entering through the cracks.
Thomas, just as all little children, can not only see the cracks they can pass through them. Little children journey to the deepest midst of your innermost being, pierce your heart and make a home there whether you know it or not. Little children want more than anything to be able to enter freely and stay forever, giving and giving and giving. Grown-ups make you pay a price and then slam the door. Grown-ups suck the life out of others, devouring and consuming until the other is bone dry and lifeless. Being big, you look at. Being little, you see through. Being big, your heart hardens. Being little, your heart breaks. Little gives, big takes.
The more cracks in your eyes, the easier it is to see into them. The more cracks in your eyes, the more open the door. The more cracks in your eyes, the more of you exits, and the more of others enter. The more cracks in your eyes, the less you hold to the world and the less the world holds you. The more cracks in your eyes, the more little you are. Cracks make a place for others. And cracks can only be made by…tears.
Written February, 17th 2007