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3/19/04
D and L,

This insight came to me this morning as I processed my bewilderment over how to live life. The very question I have been asking myself is nothing but a subtle vestage of self-for-self that I asked all of my life as I tried to conform to the external expectations of others and organizations. Its basic assumption is that I can live my life if I only knew how. The belief is that the problem is not in the living but in the knowing. I think that is at the heart of every religion and self-help strategy. The problem is we know the law and can't live it.

I thought your saying to me Luli, "We think we are living life, but really LIFE lives us," and the light went off. He is beyond comprehension. "Oh , the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him? For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen." Rom 11.33-36

I've been asking myself the wrong question. It isn't how should I live life. In fact, I'm not sure it is a question at all but rather the acknowledgment that He is living His life as me.He is himself in me. He is the Life living me. It isn't about knowing and doing as much as it is about being. Knowing and doing leaves me in the realm of oughts and shoulds and therefore, under the law and condemnation. But our being is in Him, for Him, through Him and ultimately will be revealed to be as Him. Self-for-self needs to know because it refuses to live by faith in the One who is beyond knowing.

So, the end of the matter (again!) is that He is living His life as me, bringing me into greater awareness of Himself with my every negative reaction, "sin", and misbelief that it is I who is really living my life in the positive or the negative.

I love the way Eugene Peterson translates that passage of Romans 11. He writes: " Have you ever come on anything quite like this extravagant generosity of God, this deep, deep wisdom? It's way over our heads. We'll never figure it out. " Is ther anyone around who can explain God? Anyone smart enough to tell him what to do? Anyone who has done him such a huge favor that God has to ask his advice?"

Everything come from him; Everything happens through him; Everything ends up in him. Always glory! Always praise! Yes. Yes. Yes.

Love you two.

b