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3/30/04
Hi Luli,

I was laying in bed thinking and the stuff below came to my mind, so I got up to jot it down.

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To whom it may concern (if anybody)…….

I remember when I first read about and started to ponder about the Union of man and God, or in my case, me and God, I spent a lot of mental energy trying to get to grips with, the HOW of it all.

How can this be true ……

How does it work out ……

How much of this is me, and how much of this is Him ……etc , etc , etc,…… I spent many, many months trying to understand where my part was in amongst this Union stuff. Even down to thinking that maybe it was my part to get my believing right. 'Cause if I got my believing right, then I could realise and experience this mystical Union, that I so longed to Know.

In the end I drove myself 'nuts', because my intellect was not great enough to be able to work out such a Great Truth. But, I did come to know it (which is really Him), and in the end it was not through trying to intellectually dissect the difference between what choices being made were mine and what choices being made were His…..I came to know it by giving up trying to know it. And accepting it (the truth of it all, (Union)), So….. now I say , then which part of me did the accepting , was that Me or was that Him?

What I have come to see today, that I would like to put into numbers to try and explain how I understand and now know, is this….and please keep in mind I am talking about myself, nobody else….

I believe that God is ALL…… or at least with me 99.99999%. The last .000001% is me.

What is this last 1 millionth percent I keep for myself? You may ask. Well, for me it is the Grace of God…. The little itty, bitty, bitty bit that He allows me to have to keep me from Total Oblivion. It is the itty bitty, bitty bit that He lets me USE (I confess that He reminds me to use it, or probably causes me to use it), that let's me remember that HE is….the ALL.

This is the only ONE choice that counts.

Choose YOU this day….. Life or Death…..Truth or Lies…..

Reality or Imagery…..What God says or what the World says…

Christ or self.

Love to everybody


John xxx