You have been caught by the Spirit and are now beginning to understand just how the God of this universe works in His human forms ... He didn't come to earth in His Son just to be for us, but to transmute us into His likeness which, of course, is to continue His Love/Life through us. And, miracle upon miracle, we begin to love that life. Death is NEVER easy for us humans. But to understand the depth of ourselves, finding Him in our center, makes us co-operate with Him.
I always love Jesus saying "And why does the Father love me?" And then He answers His own question by saying "Because I know how to lay down my life and take it up again." "And lay down my life and take it up again." So, Ken, your depression all these years have done a marvelous work in you, first producing weakness to almost despair, but in it, finding the strength of God being enough to keep you going, and not only that but the crowing knowledge that you have been made perfect by that very weakness. Imagine it: Now that you have been made perfect by that very suffering, you are completely prepared to take on the sufferings of Christ, filling up that which is behind for His body's sake ....
The Body: Just who is that in your life?
That's it dear, continue on in the love flow of your life ... Christ is about His business in you ever redeeming and loving in His precious _____ form.
All my love to you and I surely hope you have a loving and peaceful Christmas as we celebrate the miracle of Jesus' life being born into this dimension. Linda