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12/26/08
2 Cor. 4:10-12 "....... always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the LIFE of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus' sake, that the LIFE of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. So then death is working in us, but LIFE in you.

this early a.m. as we communed, God posed this question to me? "do you believe I can heal you?" my response was not immediate as i weighed the question and searched the desires of my heart ....... then i responded, ...... "as much as You give me Power to believe it, i believe Lord for surely you formed me in Mom's womb and made me. without You i would not exist so yes i believe You can heal me." He then said: "do you want Me to heal you?" ah, there was the question i really had to ponder .... 8 years ago i had accepted my recently diagnosed parkinson disease as His way of coming through me for life in others....... so was the question from you Lord really "do you want me to remove you from your cross?" my immediate and passionate response: Never Lord!!!! not as long as i have breath and assurance by faith that this is truly bringing LIFE to others. i must have faith enough to believe that else it's in vain and You might as well get busy and get rid of this PD for me.

the symptoms were mild 8 yrs. ago and the meds readily took care of them and it was easier to have faith and see God's purpose in it. as the cross gets more difficult to bear and i see my strength waning i am again faced with His choice by me. my prayer: God grant me the faith to stand firm in my commitment and not let outward circumstances dictate my faith. i am kept by You! it's Your faith, within me, which will keep me steady on course for the remainder of my days here on earth.

an old song comes to mind right now: "Have Thine own way Lord .... have Thine own way.... Thou art the Potter .... I am the clay. Mold me and make me .... after Thy Will .... While i am waiting .... yielded and still."